Monday, 8 February 2010

Comments Policy




In light of the increasing amount of spam being dumped in my comments sections, Here is the or-ficial AGITK Coments Policy. *queue stirring Hammond organ-like Dah-Daaaaaaah**

My blog is my little nation and I am the government. Currently, there are no rules or regulations, or blog U.N that to tells me how to administer my blog’s nation. I am in charge and I set the rules. And the first rule is making da rules public.

As the blog owner, I have the following rights:

  1. Control over content and comments.
  2. Ability to edit comments.
  3. Ability to censor comments.
  4. Ability to delete comments.
  5. Ability to prevent comments by specific persons or groups.
This does not mean that I will actually ever act upon any of these rights, but if you're the mother of a 14 y/o boy who you've allowed to view more porn than David Dutchovny, DON'T bother being offended by my description of food being orgasmic. I'll just delete your comments , and post them on Twitter, where all my fellow foodie friends will laugh at you and your lack of basic grammar. BUT, being the benevolent oligarch that I am, (think Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth run by a middle-aged hippie with a penchant for cheese and Nag Champa, but with a ratified Drive-By eugenics policy, ok), I'll pretty much put up with anything. So long as it's not stupid or clearly spam-alicious.

Part of my weird and ever-evolving spiritual belief is that, at birth everyone was issued with one pair of Big Girl/Boy/Gender Neutral Panties upon entry to this world. And you're expected to wear them! Yes, one size fits all - well, almost all. Amazing huh? But if you find they're getting a bit tight, you can swap 'em for a bigger pair.

All the below comments are kinda official looking and sounding, and given that I am often interviewed about this blog and the way I shop, eat and prep food, it's kinda necessary. But if you don't want to read the long version, here's the summation:

IT'S MY BLOG, IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, FECK OFF. IF YOU DO LIKE IT, COOL. IF YOU POST A COMMENT AND I DON'T LIKE IT, I'LL DELETE IT. AND I DON'T HAVE TO JUSTIFY THAT TO ANYONE. AND YES, I WILL DELETE COMMENTS THAT ARE GRAMMATICALLY INCORRECT OR OVERTLY USE MSN SPEAK.

**Please note, that I can backtrack every visit here. The Interwebs have made the world a VERY small place.. and I can check and follow back every single hit on this blog..

  • Comment Form Guidelines: The comment form must be filled in with a proper or legitimate sounding name and URL. Comments using keywords, spam or splog-like URLs, or suspicious information in the comment form will be edited or deleted.
  • Email Privacy: Email addresses are required for commenting, and they are not published on the blog, nor shared. They may be used by the blog owner to privately contact the commenter.
  • Commenter Privacy and Protection: All email, snail mail, phone numbers, and any private and personal information posted in any comment will be deleted as soon as possible to protect the privacy of the commenter. To prevent such editing, never share this private information within the blog comment.
  • Language and Manners: This blog is “family friendly” and comments which include offensive or inappropriate language, or considered by the blog owner and administrator to be rude and offensive, will be edited or deleted. Play nice.
  • A Comment is Conversation: A comment which does not add to the conversation, runs of on an inappropriate tangent, or kills the conversation may be edited, moved, or deleted.
  • Limit Links: This blog is setup to automatically hold any blog comment with more than two links in moderation, which may delay your comment from appearing on this blog. Any blog comment with more than four links could be marked as comment spam.
  • How The Blogger Will Respond: Comments on this blog will only be responded to in direct response to the blog comment. The blogger will not respond privately via email or other communication method to a blog comment.
  • What To Do If Your Comment Does Not Appear: If you leave a comment on this blog and it does not appear in a reasonable time period, and you know that it does not violate these Comment Policies, contact the blogger.
  • No Personal Attach Comments Permitted: In the interest of fair play, no personal attacks are permitted in this blog’s comments. You may question or argue the content, but not attack the blogger, nor any other commenters. Failure to respect fellow participants on this blog could result in removal and blocked access.
  • Comment Spam: Any comment assumed to be possible comment spam will be deleted and marked as comment spam.
  • Commenters Blocked: Anyone who violates this Comments Policy may be blocked from future access and/or commenting on this blog.
  • All Rights Reserved: The blog owner, administrator, contributor, editor, and/or author reserve the right to edit, delete, move, or mark as spam any and all comments. They also have the right to block access to any one or group from commenting or from the entire blog.
  • Hold Harmless: All comments within this blog are the responsibility of the commenter, not the blog owner, administrator, contributor, editor, or author. By submitting a comment on our blog, you agree that the comment content is your own, and to hold this site, and all subsidiaries and representatives harmless from any and all repercussions, damages, or liability.
  • Trackbacks Are Comments: All trackbacks will be treated inline with our Comments Policy.
Because I am the Queen of All I Survey here in AGITK Land, these rules are subject to change without notice, so if I delete your comment, you might like to check back here.


Now, have Johnny Depp washed and oiled and sent to my tent, immediately!

6 comments:

Griffin said...

You want Johnny Depp oiled in Olive oil or some other oil O She Who Must Be Obeyed?

Surely as a Goddess, you don't have to say any of this... just tell 'em to go toast their muffins elsewhere? I merely ask o Glorious One.

I wouldn't put up with nonsense on my blog neither, not nohow. Still my grammar is rubbish... but my spelling is good and I have chocolate.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
another middle aged hippy chick said...

*ner ner* *pokes out her tongue and runs away*

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
gardenclub2015 said...

oh my pg, what is going on? even i had to think twice about posting!

eva i Aten said...

I don't dare to make any comment...
Regards from Greece!