I am sitting here, literally PISSING my pants with laughter!!!!
A few weeks ago, I joined Taste.com, a collection of on-line food mags and a forum. I was pretty disappointed at how slow the forums moved, being used to Chowhound but hey.. it was Aussie and the members there were great!!!
So, to my crime... **insert suitably dark and minor keyed muzak**
I answered a post and described how my Asian grocer beamed with joy and greeted me, every time I walked into his establishment...
And subsequently get this email:
We have received a complaint in reference to your recent post on the Taste.com.au forum, under the “I love my Asian Grocer” thread, about your description of what your Asian grocer says to you. I have edited this post to tone down the offensive portrayal of the grocer. I did feel you could be a little more culturally sensitive in the way you reported what your grocer says, and not play up to stereotypes. I hope you can understand but we wish to encourage a community that is welcoming to all and that doesn’t make fun of someone language ability or accent.
I have reviewed your other posts, and also found references to “over-wogging” and “couldn’t be fagged”, which are also likely to offend. If I could please ask you be mindful of this type of colourful language use in the future.
Anyhoo.. that was my crime... but my hanging offence was this...What the idiot admins over at Taste don't realise, is that I run a phpBB board, so I know EXACTLY what goes on behind the scenes, and how a moderator can follow members around.
Bear with me, I'm getting to the hanging offence
Well.. after the email, I decided to no longer be a member of such a ridiculous site, and I logged in and began to remove all 87 of my posts. Stupidly, who ever set the board used the incorrect HTML tags for editing posts, so I had to physically return to all my posts and edit them individually. All I left in place of my previous post was :
I nearly busted a phoofer valve laughing, when about 10 mins into my editing, my post count started to drop!!! Some idiot mod/admin was following around behind me, deleting all my ed'd posts!! (Can't let the natives know that nasty things are afoot in the land of pretty flowers and singing birds, where every day is Spring and ladies don't say FUCK!)
I could actually HEAR the scurry of their tiny, ratty feet as they followed me around the cyberavenues of their precious, politically correct little corner of The Web, deleting my insidious and controversial "ed"'s!!!
So I got a bit snippy. I would have been happy with just deleting all my posts (some of which had personal info in them) and leaving then to their happy little place full of magical pixie horses and ladies who drink tea and don't swear, riiiiiiight up until then.
So I popped into my original introduction post, deleted my original post and put the following:
"Those of you with 1/2 a brain and a sense of humour know where to find me"
Well, bugger me backwards with a spoon, if not 2 mins later I was banned!!!
Can you IMAGINE the flurry of smelling salts that was going on in THEIR admin forum... the pm's, the swooning!!!! I swear I am almost aching with the laughing I have been doing. Can you imagine if they saw some of my posts at The Tav?? or at Chowhound!! (where I also described how a Sri Lankan woman used to talk to me, and my post was met with resounding applause!!!)
Pity tho, there were some wonderful women over there.... those with 1/2 a brain and a sense of humour!!!