Wednesday, 13 February 2008

READERS, PLEASE NOTE:




THIS BLOG IS A "VALENTINE'S DAY" FREE ZONE. ANY READERS WISHING ME HAPPY VD WILL BE HUNTED DOWN AND GIVEN BOILING EXTRA-VIRGIN OLIVE OIL ENEMAS. EMAILS ASKING FOR VD RECIPES AND IDEAS WILL BE REFERRED TO A MEDICAL PHOTOGRAPHY SITE, COMPLETE WITH VIDEOS OF HOW TO PERFORM A RADICAL ABDOMINOPLASTY.

SHOULD YOU WISH TO GREET ME IN A FESTIVE FASHION, "HAPPY 42nd INTRODUCTION OF DECIMAL CURRENCY DAY" WILL SUFFICE.

I AM OLD AND JADED. MY HUSBAND MARRIED ME BECAUSE I DO NOT "DO" VD AND I CAN BAIT MY OWN HOOK.

I AM A SURGICAL NURSE. I HAVE ACCESS TO SHARP INSTRUMENTS AND I KNOW HOW TO USE THEM.

YOU.

HAVE.

BEEN.

WARNED.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Your post card is really cute - kinda tempted to print it off a give it to my honey. Hmmm

And don't threaten to hunt me down . . . I work in theaters too and I have discovered that 99.95% of the nurse are lovely so I'm not scared.

Cindy said...

I hear ya, PG. Prior to the first 14th Feb that Michael and I shared, I warned him that the day he gave me a teddy bear with a cutesy heart-shaped message sewn to its chest would be the last day of our relationship. He was entirely happy with that contract.

(A cheeky housemate tested my assertion a couple years later...)

Jazz said...

My husband married me because I do not do VD and I can hammer my own nails.

'Nuff said.

t h e - g o b b l e r said...

The only amore I got that day was our dog trying to dry-hump my leg when I got home.
Its the thought that counts I spose!?

grocer said...

Here! Here!