Just stop trying that have children now. In fact, if you already have children, just sell them off for scientific experiments. That way, at least you'll recoup some of your losses.
Because I have, simply, the best son in the world. He's totally gorgeous, articulate, well-mannered, comes from excellent breeding stock, sends grammatically correct SMS's and loves his Mum. He does housework without being asked, remembers we're out of washing powder (and picks it up himself on the way home.). His friends are all just delightful. Funny, quirky kids with great senses of humour, who are all destined to achieve really REALLY cool things (yes, I AM talking about you, Stephanotis!). Maybe it's where we come from but you can talk to these kids about anything from racism to politics, from weasel-words to insidious advertising and get a really interesting, thoughtful, well thought-out, articulate response.
Oh, and they all have AWESOME manners!
SO you might just have to deal with the truth.
Face it. Your children will NEVER be as good as mine.
He also loves to cook. This is the child who supervised a great deal of the catering for my wedding. At only 12 years old.
If there is one thing my son knows.. it's food.
So, as World's Best Daughter goes back to 4th year Uni, Lima Bean starts his Gap Year.
Lima attended a programme for Gifted Students, has been a CHIP kid since 4 and has spent an inordinate amount of time doing things like chess lessons and performing in amateur theatre.
He's been a busy kid.
SO this Gap Year is designed to ease the pressure of doing VCE in a Gifted stream, and just allow him to hang.. and be a normal nearly 18 y/o (Oh, Christ, did I REALLY just type that?)
So he's now working.. and in true Lima form, got the first job he applied for, in the first interview.
And within a week of him getting a job, he had to take a day off to have ALL FOUR WISDOM TEETH OUT.
That is some seriously mean-arse pain right there.. and swelling.
Except, (and this may NOT be the last time I wax lyrical about how freaking made of 49 different and distinct types of awesome my son is made up of) this is the still 17 y/o who went back to work within 2 days of the surgery.
Oh, yeah, there is some serious Übermensch going on right there!
(it's alright if you have to Google that word, really.. it doesn't make you thick. It just means your parents didn't love you enough to give you a "proper" education. But then again, you were probably too stupid to deserve one, anyway. )
So, for the past two weeks we've been living on pureed congee, colcannon, smoothies and ice cream. All good stuff... the congee was what can only be described as a umami-bomb. And I took a gamble and pureed some Massaman beef curry. And achieved what could be best described as taste-varna.
But there come a time, when the thick creamy goodness of homemade chicken soup cannot be outdone by something with texture. So rather than go from congee to Nachos, we're heading there via last weeks pesto and also moussaka.
I know, my Big Fat Greek Contingent of readers out there will be swooning, but trust me.. the variation on a theme here was worth it.
PG's Moose Kaka.
Cube 500g of lean lamb. Marinate overnight in some olive oil, lemon zest, lemon juice and fresh oregano. Slow cook (for at least 3 hours) the next day with:
3 tablespoons Olive oil
1 Onion; chopped fine
1 clove Garlic; chopped fine
4 1/2 cups Chopped tomatoes
2 tablespoons Chopped fresh parsley
2 teaspoons Whole oregano
1 cup Dry red wine
8 ounces Tomato sauce
1/4 teaspoon Ground cinnamon
1 pinch Ground allspice
Salt and Freshly-ground black pepper to taste
(this is my recipe for Greek tomato sauce and can be made separately from the Moose Kaka and kept in the fridge for up to 5 days)
layer a baking dish with some Arborio rice (we needed the texture, what can I say.. we were sick to death of potato!), add a few goodly knobs of butter and some vegetable stock.
Top with the slow cooked lamb mix, top this with some grilled eggplant (I bought mine at a Greek deli, but you can make your own) and the seal the whole shebang with a thick layer of bechamel sauce, thickened with Kefalotiri cheese. (Kefalograviera will do just as well, or you can use Gruyere).
Bake the whole thing in a medium (200C) oven for about 1.5 hours and scarf with a green salad with some olives.