Saturday 30 April 2011

Needful things



I'm not a particularly aquisitous person. I like beautiful things, but I don't often have a need to own them. I'm in the UK right at the mo (as evidenced by my STUNNING pic of The Crescent in Bath, above), so maybe the post shouldn't be 'needful' so much as 'meaningful things'

I was in Oxford the other day. At the Ashmolean. And with all the hooplah here over yesterday's Royal Wedding, the place was almost deserted.

I spent a full half hour alone with the Stradivarius's 'Messiah' (and if you have to Google that, you're an idiot who's parents clearly didn't love them enough to educate them properly and when my Revolution comes, you will be retrospectively aborted based on my drive-by eugenics programme, where stupid people will be dealt with al la 'Soylent Green')

**the irony that some people who read this will, in fact, google some of the above, simply out of envy and spite does not escape me**

Anyway, I digress.

I got the most delectable look from a docent, when I lay on the floor of the pre-Raphelites room, and just allowed tears to pour down my cheeks, all the while feeling just a little like Millais' Ophelia.

I saw a real kore (and silently thanked Miss Passmore for the finest classical education I could ask for)

Anyway, the point is, at no time did I actually wish to OWN any of these things. The mere fact that they exist in this world, and I have seen them with my own eyes is enough.

The fact that I didn't have to share the experience with anyone, let alone gormless American tourists or snotty public school children, was the gilding on the pre-raph frame.

**side note.I DID come across a gormless American couple in the Fauves Gallery, the woman declaring loudly I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE BIGGER. YOU KNOW, LIKE WE SAW IT ON THE TELEVISION'**

**sigh**

So, finally, to the point of the post.

When I relocated to PNG, I wrote a maudlin, rambling post on what I'd decided to keep and what I chose to throw away. Read it here if you are so inclined.

What I did choose to keep.after 45 years, those things I chose? They were MY needful things. Some were beautiful, some were practical.

And some were both.

And even further, some were priceless.

 And some, no matter how heavily insured they were, can NEVER be replaced.

You'd think a container filled with cups and saucers and glass bowls and vases.. well, you'd be a twat if you thought that you'd get it from Melbourne to Lae with no breakages.

So then, please tell me , oh moving company, WHY the only two items to be damaged, were my two most beloved, favourite NEEDFUL, irreplaceable things in the whole world?

You know, the things I SPECIFICALLY TOLD THE MOVERS TO BE CAREFUL OF, AS THEY WERE UTTERLY IRREPLACEABLE.

My great-grandmother's marble pastry slab, used by 4 generations of women in my family, the slab on which I created my own wedding cake, the slab on which I knead the bread to make banana and nutella bread for my beautiful (step) daughter, the slab on which I taught my son to make chocolate cornets and pastry, and how to test the temperature of caramel, the slab I told the Herald Sun Food interview that 'In a fire, I'd rescue my slab before my children... and they know this and are perfectly alright with it'

THE SOLID CARRERA MARBLE SLAB, WEIGHING 8KGS, GIVEN TO MY GREAT GRANDMOTHER AS A WEDDING PRESENT IN 1899.

Yup.You guessed it.

smashed.

And the other thing those useless arse-wad, douchenozzle oxygen thieving ANKLES destroyed?

Two wrought iron table lamps given to me, bought for me,... CHOSEN for me by my beloved hobbit.

If you'd lined up every single one of my needful things, and picked the three I'd die for, well, the movers got 2 of them.

I AM LIVID.

19 comments:

Anonymous said...

Karma's a bitch

purple goddess said...

It IS, isn't it? How's that googling going? And your dharma? I'd be on the look out for something more than a chipped slab, if I were you.

tra la!!

Anonymous said...

My Dharma? You would have to ask Greg about that one :-D

I thought the slab was smashed, now it's only chipped, good play on words, more dramatic, and thank you for your good wishes it's amazing what you can find when you google Goddess, you of all people should know that, people that lie always get caught out don't they?
Glad your enjoying PNG, it was certainly time to get out of Dodge

Anonymous said...

And sorry to disapoint you, but I do know what the Messiah is, a beautiful piece of workman ship. I also know at the school that MY parents sent me to, we were taught that when a person's name ends in an 's', it is apostrophe after the S in the name not s's. That's two mistakes, spelling and grammatical in your blog. Perhaps it is you who had parents that didn't love her enough, oh that's right they didn't. That's why you were put up for the highest bidder, an ebay baby before her time. What a trend setter

purple goddess said...

Oh Look!

I done got myself my very own troll!! Does that mean my wee little blog has come of age?

However, dear fans, I really would rather a troll who had a basic conceptualisation of syntax and the whole your you're thing.

Or one who's arguements axtually hold up under scrutiny.

I mean, really... workman ship

**gigglesnort**

And we all know the first rule of the internet, don't we?

DON'T FEED THE TROLLS.

next....

Perhaps it's time to revisit my comments policy.

tra la!

Anonymous said...

Maybe then moving to PNG wasn't a good idea after all, but then we all know why you did that don't we?
Schooling can only take someone so far and the choice of school doesn't make one a good parent though does it? Obvious to all that know the truth.

Anonymous said...

OH look another anon making a comment. I may be a troll, but you are still an ebay baby put up for the highest bidder, don't matter what school you went to, common is as common does, like mother like daughter in the end.
Remember E.B, I know the truth, not the fabrications you have been told, I was there living it, you weren't, don't be so sure you know the truth.

bee said...

oh sweetheart...so sorry to hear that items of such sentimental value were destroyed. how terrible!!
((((ella)))

as for this troll that doesn't have the balls to post their real name...where did YOU go to school sunshine???
"don't matter what school you went to"
don't matter??? really?
wow.
carry on.

missing you xoxox

Anonymous said...

I don't know who you are or what the heck you are on about but Goddess, you are NOT.
That would have to be the most self indulgent, publicly degrading piece of crap of a blog I have ever seen. Get the stick out of your arse and get a real life - one you have to work for!
As for your comments re the Troll, if that is how you respond to your readers then close your blog and drop off the face of the earth!!!
Please pick my spelling and grammar to bits as far as you can because these are not the things that make a person.

Anonymous said...

No Bee I didn't go to school in Sunshine, where I live is actually in the North, pity that expensive school your friend went to, didn't teach geography. I also come from a higher socio economic family than her husband did, and I own everything I have. I don't need a name, Ebay baby knows who I am, that's all that matters. Perhaps all you believe is not as true as you think,there is much hidden under the murky waters, including why none of her step children want to have anything to do with her.

Lisa Gibbs said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

I am not the anon from above and I was always led to believe that the written word should be of poetry and knowledge. It appears to me that this blog page is about degrading and make all others feel lowly and worthless. Regardless of race colour creed nationality education or upbringing the author of this blog appears to take great pleasure in belittling others....is what people really want to follow. I quote "I spent a full half hour alone with the Stradivarius's 'Messiah' (and if you have to Google that, you're an idiot who's parents clearly didn't love them enough to educate them properly and when my Revolution comes, you will be retrospectively aborted based on my drive-by eugenics programme, where stupid people will be dealt with al la 'Soylent Green')". Playing on the misfortune of others and their lack of schooling (as education is life experience not what the system teaches us as babes)is tantamout to the mentality of the author and her lack of true life experience and humility towards mankind. Author......in order to fullfill a life path that is fruitfull and joyful you must first elliminate the hatred and disrespect and disregard you seem to have for what appears to be anyone who does not it seems breath the air you do. When I last checked, we were all still breathing the same stuff so until that changes, as a peruser of blogs looking for people of interest and knowledge this is my only time on this one unless the humility becomes aparent. I trust your future will be filled with happiness and I wish you the best in your future endeavours

Griffin said...

Ahem, Pre-Raphs at the Ashmolean...? Wait until you get to Birmingham quickish and see what they have... or the Tate Britain's Pre-Raphs.

Sorry about the marble slab, because of all the memories it contained and the wrought iron lamps too. But weep for them and then get yourself a new marble slab and start a whole new set of traditions.

Stradivarius made Jesus? Will wonders never cease? Not bad for a violin maker from Italy, huh?

purple goddess said...

The Tate is on the list, lovey, as is MoMa. You have pre-raph's in Birmingham?

we must bond.

mwah!

Tee said...

Well, Goddess, having been lurking somewhat quietly (love your work!) I shall now come out of the shadows to address this small-minded creature who seems to be plaguing your comments section of late.

Anonymous, (gee, that's convenient!) I would advise you to proof-read much more carefully before attacking on the basis of grammar. Your punctuation (or lack thereof) is appalling. The terms 'trend-setter' and 'socio-economic status' both require hyphens. You have ended multiple sentences without periods, and you have so many run-on sentences that even if you weren't ranting like a hate-filled lunatic, I'd question your ability to communicate cogently. The semicolon is your friend; learn to love it.
I don't know why you feel the need to connect parental love to grammatical prowess; as a person who works in the mental health field, I am worried for you. You yourself say that spelling and grammar are not the things that make a person, and you are correct. I'd say that cyber stalking (which is criminal harassment, in case you are interested) and cruel and petty comments regarding someone's adoption (what kind of person *does that?) are by far a more accurate indicator of the quality, decency and overall worth of a person. I've worked some with clients who were both mentally ill and involved with the justice system, and I've never met anyone as depraved as you apparently are - 'e-bay baby'? What is wrong with you?

Goddess, ignore this waste of skin. Keep on doing your thing, I'll be happily reading along. :)

victorine said...

Isn't it just like a troll to try and use grammar as an excuse. If you look up the rules of grammar, the s's is perfectly fine. In fact, excluding the second s would imply the plural rather than the singular of a noun. It is the recommended method, but most will agree that s' is acceptable. It is rather confusing though, and you should lean towards the correct usage which purple goddess implemented beautifully.

--vic

Anonymous said...

Tee,
Not all the comments have been made by myself.
"I don't know why you feel the need to connect parental love to grammatical prowess;"
Perhaps you could ask EB why she connects parental love with what school they send you to.
If you have read this blog as you indicate, you will surely have seen over several years, the abuse, put downs, comments and hurtful things that have been said about my children, my family and myself. Now years later I bite back, casting dispersions on her gene pool. As for cyberstalking, this is a public blog, with a comments section, and as she had reminded everyone, go visit the comments policy, she has had the opportunity to delete any and all of the comments that have been made, but she has chosen not to do so. I may be a troll, I may be a gutterwhore, I may be a waster of skin, but I am all those that knows the truth, the truth about lies, the truth about why her step children want nothing to do with her. At the end of the day it does not have anything to do with where you went to school, who your parents are, or whether they loved you enough to send you to a 'proper' school, or to keep you and not put you up to the highest bidder. Just remember, and EB has said this herself in this blog, it's all a fantasy world, it's not real :-D

purple goddess said...

I've refrained from commenting, as my own personal philosopy, when it comes to trolls is 'don't poke the penguin'.

However...

Julie, I both see and speak to my step-children much more regularly than they tell you. In E's immortal words 'I can't tell Mum when I have a good time with you, 'cos it makes her cross'

Your obsession about my adoption is, possibly, more disturbing than any of the other self-deluded bullshit you've stained this post with.

Fact 1) you know NOTHING about the circumstances of my adoption, including the fact that no money changes hands in an adoption in Australia, so your constant reference to 'the highest bidder', is incorrect. However, unlike most people (yourself included, I suspect), my parents WANTED me. I was chosen out of love, I was needed and wanted and desired, for the child that I was and the potential adult I was to become.

You and your friends, and their comments here clearly reflect the lies and disambiguations YOU have have been spouting over the years.

I am tempted to list my truths, but I realise that I don't need to, and to do so would lower me to your level. Those who know me, know the truth.

However, in closing, I'd ask you a couple of things.

Why do you even assume that the comment to which you have taken offence, even apply to you? Do you REALLY think that you even blip on my radar enough for me to 'poke'you on my FOOD blog? I mean, by your own admission here, you're ' a troll, () a gutterwhore, () a waster of skin', however, you rarely enter into my thoughts.. particularly when I am thinking about posting.

The very fact that you've assumed it's 'all about you' speaks volumes, doesn't it?

Secondly, I wonder if the 'lies' that you refer to are ever REALLY analysed by you and you ilk. Anyone ever wonder why no charges were laid? Why doctors found no evidence WHAT SO EVER of the allegations which (I suspect) you fostered? (oh and BTW, this isn't the only web site I run, and those who know me and mine, have read and supported and mine through the last few years of your obsession against me, including enabling the kids to see me when you forbade it..several times, in fact).

I'd also point out now, the only thing that keeps me from saying more, is the fact that I believe you to be so unstable, as to take out your revenge and ire on my step children. And they and their safety FAR outweigh my need to score points. A lesson you've clearly still to learn.

My work in social media will now, I hope, take me all over the world, and I will continue to use humour and satire and the occasional bitchy rant to shake people out of the stupor of
their little sheeple lives, and to see the bigger picture.

If you get something out of the ever-evolving corner of cyberspace that is my blog, well... good. That's why I do what I do. However, in closing, I'd just say again..

IT'S NOT, NOR NEVER HAS BEEN, ALL ABOUT YOU.

**steps off soapbox**

Anonymous said...

Bravo