Have yourself a Mater Beige's Xmas.

It's the silly season. Our first without my beloved Hobbit. Mater Beige is fending off sadness with food. And she's not even a wog!!! good on her, I say. My Mum, Mater Beige. She of the Cat's Vom Stew (one day I will have the intestinal fortitude to post about it, but not now. I feel a bit queasy just thinking about it. It does, however, hold the ubiquitous honour of being one of only a handful of recipes ever deleted off Chowhound for being so bad.)

So, the whole fam were there. Furry, myself, Madame Mouse, Lima Bean. Mr Charisma by-pass, The Princess, Jazzy-J, Stew'Em, Uncle Maximus, Auntie Beige, Bluey and Naxaw and Purple niece (I told them I'd list them and give them all "internet names").

Mater Beige is a self-confessed "quick" cook. She doesn't like cooking, and lives by the maximum, "eat to live, not love to eat".

I was always the cuckoo in the nest.

Not for her the slow and languid basting of a turkey, the brining of the ham. She buys her turkey loaf and her pork. in Oct. Bakes and slices it. And freezes it. Out it comes on Xmas morning, into the Pyrex dish and is popped into the micronuke to defrost. It hits the oven about an hour before lunch to "crisp up".

The was one memorable year when she, in her "quickness", didn't seal the alfoil quite tight enough before she froze it, so we were treated to some lovely freezer burnt, micronuked and crisped meat of uncertain aetiology.

This year, she got it right... well, as right as frozen, micronuked turkey loaf can be.. it's all relative, yes?



Only at Castel Della Beige, an alcohol-free home, do you get Pepsi Max in the Xmas wine cooler.



The one thing Mater Beige does SENSATIONALLY is Xmas lollies. Stickjaw toffees, white Xmas, espresso balls, coconut ices... platter and platters of them, and it's traditional at our Xmas to scarf as many of them as you can. Before main, during main, between courses, with coffee, after coffee...



We all left with full bellies and a lovely feeling that the Hobbit would have adored it!

Merry ChristnukahyuleSaturnailia to you all!!!