Tuesday 27 May 2008

I have solved the world's energy crisis!

Yup. Little old me. Did it by observing a fact only known to an esoteric group of people within a sub-strata of the community.

Mother's of teen aged boys.

Here's how my research developed.

Last Wednesday we received our usual delivery of goodies from Aussie Farmers Direct. It included some bananas, some green apples. some red apples, some oranges, some pears, a bag of red grapes, some kiwi fruit as well as a whole passel of veggies.

On Thursday night, Lima Bean was over. On Friday night, Els was over.

I watched in amazement as these two teen boys defied scientific debate and actually converted the molecules of fruit and transported them vis some unknown process that has to do with the peculiar smell of teen boy's socks, and the rampaging hormones.

Note: 2 teen aged boys can ingest a bowl of fruit, simply by passing it, in the kitchen.

When I asked Lima if he had eaten all 4 bananas, he replies "I dunno".

And Ells and the oranges... "I dunno"

I went out to our local orchard and got a further 2kg bag of Pink Lady's, some pears and a few more bananas.

All gone within an hour of being placed in the fruit bowl.

And when the fruit did not magically re-appear again, I was hounded into handing over some cash, as the boys were "hungry".

Now, if only I can get them to transport their siblings to and from sport, and their mother to work, and get them to use their powers to spin the washing machine and "beam me up" to a Greek island, I'll be able to retire and live the life of Riley!

Just remember, when science discovers a causal link between teen aged boys and that transporter thingy in Star trek, you heard it here first.


Vida said...

Girls just don't eat the same way as boys and hence the reason I chose to have only girls!!!! Vida x

purple goddess said...

Babe, I hear you!

Madame Mouse had 5 friends over last night and they ate 2.5 pizzas between them, and maybe 1/2 a Banana loaf.

What 6 x 19y/o girls ate between them, my 16y/o boy would call an after-school snack!

Anonymous said...

the secret is that they inhale the food without even noticing .....


Anonymous said...

PG, as you know they start to exibit this eating phenomenon at an early age.
The little bloke the other night, aged 7.5 put away 3 snags, spuds, peas, carrots 1/2 bottle tom sauce + two bowls of apple crumble & ice cream. Then pined for more after.
the next morning I'm sure he was taller!

neil said...

My boys do the same thing too. But in my case, it's more like a magical act...the food just disappears!

purple goddess said...

see Neil,

That's the thing.. they don't actually have to physically handle the fruit.. it IS like magic.. they simple walk past and use their hormone-addled brains to absorb the fruit by osmosis... or telekinesis or photosynthesis or something.

Jazz said...

Teenage boys are pretty scary that way...

Alex Mac said...

Chimps is rapidly becoming a fruit inhaler.

The other evening, he was chomping on his apple and commented "There's just something about fruit before bed mum, makes you feel all chilled out and relaxed."

I've also started preparing raw veggies for him to dip in houmous. I think he absorbs hounous directly thru his skin.