Sunday 22 February 2009

Neo-Classical Batch food.

Regular readers will have heard me allude to Furry's style of cooking BPG (before purple goddess) and APG (afte... oh, FFS, you work it out). His BPG was characterised by "Batch food", meaning anything that could be whipped up whilst hungover, on shore leave, with a random hook up passed out on your couch. It usually involves a can of Stagg beans and a microwave. At its best, batch food can be hearty, uncomplicated and stick-to-yer ribs.

At worst, it ends up leaving you nostalgically longing for the out-of-stomach experience of Bali Belly

Furry's batch (short for "Bachelor") repertoire consists of wraps, rolls, deep-fried things, deep fried things with cheese and bacon.

LOTS of bacon.

He also has his APG repertoire. which has been oft chronicled here.

But it's his neo-batch food I was craving this weekend.

We've done 4 months off the fags. The weight gain has stabilised. We've been exercising a little more and eating a whole lot better. Out alcohol consumption is waaaaaay down, and we're finally feeling the benefits of giving up the coffin nails.

So this Sat night, I had a hankering for nachos. And Furry has combined the best of his BPG and APG skills to make a mean nachos. It is part of his repertoire I like to call is Neo Classical Batch food.

It's batch food that's been pg-ised. Once upon a time, it would have been Doritos, Ole El Paso salsa and Chris' "avocado" dip, but these days he uses organic corn chips (he once did it with the blue corn disks and that was AWESOME!!), makes his own carne mix (mince, red kidney beans, chopped tomatoes, Tabasco, garlic, ginger, onion slow stewed for hours), his own salsa (this time, tiny wee baby tomatoes, halved, with Vietnamese mint and lime juice) and his own guac (avo, sour cream and lime juice)

So a lazy Sat night, down at Chez Fur, with my gorgeous hubbie, some comforting batch food, and a beer.

But here's the thing. Like all wild beasts that have been tamed, his veneer of civility is thin, and lurking beneath that Eastern Suburbs, MCG tie-wearing facade, is the same Furry who fished with det cord, spent 16 years in the wilderness of the Western Suburbs, can fart on command and who once streaked (stroked?) drunk down the front straight at the Turrumburry race meet.

How do I know this?

Dinner was served using a paint scraper.


Griffin said...

"who once streaked (stroked?) drunk down the front straight at the Turrumburry race meet."... so, reader, she married him!!! Well I can't think of a better reason for you to marry him. Did he win?

Of course a paint scraper... well you did say it was sticktayer ribs food didn't you? Well there you are then!

So... when are you next going to the races?...

Anonymous said...

Grif, here's how the day unfolded

Got very pissed at a huge social function (Turrumburry Horse Racing Carnaval).

In between races there was little/no entertainment. Yours truly thought it would be a great idea to streak. The "hat" was passed around, (to secure bail moneys if required), about $180 was collected, clothes unloaded & I'M OFF.

Now, about 1/2 way down the straight, possibly sobering a little, there was the realisation that the front straight was very, VERY long.

So, while the crowd cheered & whooped, Furry made a right hand turn, stopped at the fence near the finish line, took a "stubbie" (small bottle of beer) off a spectator, skulled it down, handed back the now empty bottle, gave a thumbs up & continued to run the front straight.

Finally, at the other end, jumped (fell) over the fence, got handed his clothes, got dressed & kept the $180. (Which was later used at the bar)

Yes Grif, I can hear you pondering

My pissed mates, who had my clothes, who walked, nay staggered, through the crowd, beat me to the end .......... and I'm told, "one stopped for a piss!"

Did I mention front straights were like really long?

Cindy said...

Yep, I totally dig this neo-classical batch food! (Though, as you'd guess, ours has a slightly different beans:mince ratio). It's a big part of my ideal Friday night in.

I am stoked (though not quite stroked/streaked) that after a mighty struggle, you're starting to feel the benefits of life ACN... you can probably work that one out. :-D

Griffin said...

Still, I am seriously impressed. Despite the straight being very long (at least it was level... tho' possibly doesn't feel like it when you're drunk).

You clearly need practice... or possibly the Purple Goddess, body-painted in purple could get seriously Brahms and make a dash... maybe when your systems are purged and clean and wholesome enough to get ratted and then try it... oh, take the kids too. The entertainment value would be worth it.

I have never done anything like it, tho' I might try Royal Ascot...! I think the Queen might like a rare sight of skinny bum cavorting past the horses...!

Jazz said...

The things I learn. Next time I want Nachos!

Anonymous said...

Using the paint scraper is SO Aussie! Like my dad using a long metal file to grate the dead skin off his gnarly toes at the dinner table one night, SO Aussie.
My own thoughts in weaker moments of using a micro-planer to do the same job.
Of an Uncle mowing the lawn in Y-fronts & thongs in order to keep his hard yakka's free of cuttings, SO Aussie!
Aussie Know how & ingenuity at its best!

Anonymous said...

haha love it. and hey, i think the paint scraper spatula is ingenious!

and why the hell aren't i subscribed to your blog on my rss reader... off to fix that!

Anonymous said...

LOL, served with a paint scraper! I love you guys and your food pics make my mouth water!