Saturday 10 May 2008

liquid lunch?

Is it Full Moon?? Every lunatic on the fringe-rug of life either rang or attended my office yesterday. If I get one more **insert nasal American computer-generated Marge Simpson voice** "CONGRATULATIONS!! YOU HAVE WON AN OPPORTUNITY TO......(at which point I always hang up) call, or some freak from Mumbai trying to sell me a better deal on my mobile phone, I am going to go grab a large bore automatic weapon and find the nearest clock tower.

My boss, Elvis (for what else are you going to call a middle-aged Jewish Surgeon?) and I are run off our feet at the moment. What with associate staff being sick and going overseas for 5 weeks, we're paddling hard against the current.

I am probably the most Type A person I know. If I don't start cleaning my house at the exact same point (by the microwave, on the left) every time and clean my house in a distinct order, then it's not "clean".. so chopping and changing theatre sessions at work, and re-organising patient lists has left me feeling quite frayed.

And on Friday, I forgot my lunch.

Long gone are the days when I could party like a rock-star until the wee smalls and then head off to work, not eat all day, and make it to 5 o'clock unscathed.

By the time I had repeated my "happy place" Mantra for the umpteenth time yesterday, I was feeling dizzy and most unwell.

And I recently discussed my alcohol consumption with a friend and remember distinctly saying "I don't ever recall actually NEEDING a drink"

Well, bugger me backwards with a spoon, but on the drive home last night, I counted down the minutes until I could get home, peel off the work duds and down a chardy or seventeen.

But, as I have mentioned.. I hadn't eaten a thing all day.

And we all know what happens to middle-aged women when they drink on an empty stomach. I just KNEW that within 2 glasses, I'd be caterwauling "Tainted Love" into an empty shampoo bottle and making trashy, tearful phonecalls to friends I have recently neglected. Hell, I might have even got out the wedding video and made Furry watch it... Who knows how low things might have got??

So what is a poor girl to do??

V-8 and vodka, that's what!!! It's got all the nutrition of veggies ("1 glass= 3 serves of veggies", the bottle proudly proclaims!)

A glass of V-8, a splash of Absolut, a splash of Wooster-Sooster, a drop of Tabasco and finish with a sprinkle of "Slap yo' Mama" cajun seasoning! Mix with a random spring onion that Furry had earmarked for garnishing dinner.

2 of these little beauties and everything is alllllll right in the world.

Except you forget to really look when you're taking pics for your blog and end up getting the dodgy lace cafe curtains you loathe with an consuming passion, in the background of your photos.



grocer said...

I loved this!
(despite being mildly disappointed that you have V8 in the cupboard.)

Now tell me, what is it with the lace curtains? I wouldn't have thought a type A like you could PERMIT such babies to stay if you didn't like them!!!


purple goddess said...


the curtains are like so many things... the baby puke yellow walls in the loo... the fact the last 2 foor of the house before the back door sags 2 inches and the dodgy 70's lino in the the laundry... After 6 years of living here, it all fades into the backgroud and gets filed under "I'll get around to it, later..."

and I actually have NO idea where the V* came from.. might have been a left over from madame Mouse's 19 a few weeks go.

But DAYUM, it was good!!

Possumchops said...

I think I was in the same twilight zone today! Considering I'm on my second beer, the only thing stopping me from making a fool of myself was the rather large fist full of chippies I found in the pantry. Must remember to grab a bottle of V8 and stash for emergencies as there is ALWAYS vodka in the house!

Love the new look today as well. Nice and fresh. Just like my lime infused dry beer. ;)

Ed Charles said...

I think the curtains make the pic. I also think it may be the moon except at this end of town it was Carlton Draught and my neighbore (sic) who never smokes smoked two packs.

purple goddess said...


you may be right.. it's got a whole kinda "Stepford Wives meets 28 Days" about it, doesn't it??

pg (wanders off humming "Mrs Robinson")